Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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