So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
