we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
