as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
