Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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