Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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