why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
