my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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