Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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