You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
