I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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