At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
