Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
