remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
