Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
