it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
