Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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