Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
