I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
