I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
did i just pee glitter
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
