Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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