im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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