i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
