Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry about my life...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
