there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
