yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
