I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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