Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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