her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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