it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
