ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
