Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
