break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
