I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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