He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
