Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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