i think my tv is drunk
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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