Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
