i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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