my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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