This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't deserve a penis
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
