i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
