Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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