sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
