Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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