i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
