You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
