just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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