note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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