I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you never un-have a 4some
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
