i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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