He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Alive.
So much puke
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
