Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize