Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
