I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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