party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
