I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
